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Life had to get
better - it did - proof is in this cosy collection of summery surf's up
ditties.
Now some folk
would say that "She couldn't make the stretchmarks tan" is
sexist. Well, cast your mind back to the 80's - was "Nice legs,
shame about the boat race" sexist? Anyway, it's simply a matter of
observation. Now the songwriter happened to be strutting round the pool
on some kind of Aegean holiday and noticed that, notwithstanding the
chicness, svelteness and general all round well-maintainedness of the
assembled company of swarthy Mediterranean mothers, those critical
strands of what one might term "scar tissue" were simply
devoid of the requisite level of pigmentation which would have ensured a
seamless whole. (What the hell are you on about? - Ed). Didn't the Red
Hot Chilli Peppers also write about scar tissue?
Bjorn Borg, on
the other hand is an arrangement of Neil's mate Steve Smith's account of
the said tennis player winning his fifth Wimbledon in a row, deftly
equating that feat to success (or otherwise) in male-female
relationships - you figure it out!
Never heard of
Steve Smith? No, not the poet - the rodent-like guitar player who,
together with Neil, his brother Rod and Boris the bass player, a long
time ago in a far off land, played in the proverbial "we're all
going to be famous" rock band (see pic). This band produced not only Bjorn
Borg but also "She's Washing her Hair Tonight" and "Karen
and Gary" both of which appear on "Return to Malibu".
Steve later
achieved lasting fame in the electronic taxi meter design industry.
Note the
artwork - take one Barbie doll, a cardboard guitar which you made when
you were a kid and your old Action Man (or in this case Taiwanese pirate
equivalent) - scatter some builders sand around and wait for it to snow
- well it snowed, but the photo shoot was left to the next day and the
whole sodding lot had melted bar some scruffy end bits at the bottom of
the garden - so those nice computer people had to come to the rescue!
We also nearly
used the trumpet-playing lunatic, Chris (somebody) on the title track,
but he could barely walk, having od'd on nutmeg (there's one in every
town…).
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