Now It's Christmas (Who gives a monkey's version)

 

 Everybody's driving down to mum and dad's

But no one really wants to be there

Gran's on the Tia Maria

But we don't give a monkey's

If she falls down the stairs

All the lights are out on the Christmas tree

Another bloody pair of socks for me

Now who scoffed all the pies?

Who scoffed all the pies?

Mum said we were all supposed to share!

 Merry merry Christmas, we all love our Christmas

It only comes just once a year

Now it's Christmas

Wait all year for Christmas

And now it's come we're glad it's here

What a load of bollocks on the telly

Del boy bonking Britney Spears

Queen's had an anus horribilis again

Thank God dad got in the beers

Forget about your troubles and woes

Stick a bit of icing up your nose

Oh come all ye faithful

Oh come all ye faithful

Oh come on England, why d'you lose again this year?

Merry Christmas, we all love our Christmas

It only comes just once a year

Now it's Christmas

Wait all year for Christmas

And now it's come we're glad it's here

We ate mum's Christmas pud, we're feeling very queer

Dad's broken mum's best china - oh dear

This is turning out to be the same as it turned out to be last year

Merry Christmas, we all love our Christmas

It only comes just once a year

Now it's Christmas

Wait all year for Christmas

And now it's gone we're glad

And now it's gone we're glad

Bloody Christmas

Bloody bloody Christmas

We’re all glad it's gone for, bloody glad it's gone for

Glad it's gone for one more year