Now it's Christmas (fluffy hot cocoa round the fire mix)

Everybody's driving down to mum and dad's

Joan and Uncle Jimmy are there

Mum's in the kitchen with her apron on

And dad's snoring in his chair

Billy's climbing the Christmas tree

Katy's cutting grandma's hair

Now who scoffed all the pies?

Who scoffed all the pies?

Mum said we were all supposed to share!

Merry merry Christmas, we all love our Christmas

It only comes just once a year

Now it's Christmas

Wait all year for Christmas

And now it's come we're glad it's here

What a load of rubbish on telly

Del boy, Bond and Britney Spears

Queen's had an anus horribilis again

Thank God dad got in the beers

Forget about your troubles and woes

Everything that gets right up your nose

Oh come all ye faithful

Oh come all ye faithful

Oh come let us sing you all a song of Xmas cheer
 

Merry Christmas, we all love our Christmas

It only comes just once a year

Now it's Christmas

Wait all year for Christmas

And now it's come we're glad it's here

We ate mum's Christmas pud, we're feeling very queer

Dad's broken mum's best china - oh dear

Give you two guesses what dad's getting mum for Christmas next year

Merry Christmas, we all love our Christmas

It only comes just once a year

Now it's Christmas

Wait all year for Christmas

And now it's come we're glad

And now it's come we're glad

Merry Christmas

Merry merry Christmas

We’re all glad it's come for, we're so glad it's come for

Glad it's come for one more year